Avoiding Family Drama During the Covid-19 Pandemic

Several times since the Covid-19 pandemic broke out, I have wondered whether my brothers were safe. Knowing whether John*, my middle brother, was okay was easy. Although we’ve not talked to each other in 12 years, I found out through two of our mutual childhood friends that he was not one of the more than 350,000 people in his state who have contracted the virus.Finding out whether Marco* was okay took several weeks. Nobody in our family and none of my childhood friends can deal with him. He has bipolar disorder, and since his diagnosis 39 years ago, he has consistently refused meds. He’s verbally and physically abusive to most people he comes in contact with, especially women, which he came by honestly as the saying goes.I never needed a diagnosis to know something was seriously off with Marco. Looking back, he exhibited all the signs: stretches of mania followed by equally long bouts of depression, calculated and well-thought-out verbal and physical assaults, and rage that seemed to come from nowhere.When I was 10 (Marco is four years older than I) he planned out his first of two attempts to kill one of the neighbors in our Manhattan apartment building. He tied a thin wire across the top of the staircase. He then rang the doorbell and tried to lure this woman out of her apartment and down those marble stairs, where she would surely have fallen to her death. She saw the wire just in the nick of time and held onto the banister. Marco was hiding out of sight, snickering.He told our parents he did it because the neighbor wouldn’t let him play with her daughter. Laughing as he retold the story was creepy as hell.A few days later while staring out the window, Marco noticed the same neighbor climbing out of a cab. He had a 10-gallon garbage bag already filled with water, waiting beside the window. As she closed the car door, Marco dropped that 85-pound “water balloon” down 10 flights. It missed our neighbor by a hair and she did as anyone would do: she looked up and saw Marco looking out the window. He not only didn’t duck inside (as most people would have done), he yelled out to her, “Better luck next time!” Although none of us saw this happen, his version of events was identical to hers.With me Marco had a trigger hand, like our father. If our father didn’t like something I said or did, I would get knocked across the room. Our father beat all three of us whenever he felt like it, which was probably three to four times a week, as did his father to him growing up. When I was 14, I paid $25.00 from my babysitting money to a neighborhood kid to install a lock on my bedroom door. I couldn’t control the world outside my bedroom, but I could protect myself in my own room.And what was John doing as Marco was abusing his sister and trying to kill the neighbor? John has always been good at taking care of John and ignoring everyone else. Give him a substance and the world ceases to exist.Forgive and Forget Because Nothing is More Important Than FamilyThose who don’t know my family or think I’m exaggerating when I describe what it was like growing up usually say things to me like, “Nothing is more important than family,” “Whatever happened, just forgive him and move on” or “You’ll regret it when you get older.”The last comment has some merit. We are all in our 50s, and I’m acutely aware there are fewer years in front of us than behind. Our parents are now deceased, so they’re non-issues in the forgive and forget department. But for the living, reconciliation isn’t always so easy.It involves real work my brothers are too stuck to do. The apple rarely falls far from the tree, although the real mystery isn’t how one brother has bipolar and the other is an alcoholic. The question I’ve had my whole life is, why didn’t I become an alcoholic, have bipolar or both?Depression, bipolar disorder and alcoholism run on both sides of my family. My mother struggled with depression and used alcohol to self-medicate. She was a functional alcoholic—so functional that she was an editor at a prominent New York publication for years. While she rarely hit me, my mother was the queen of belittling. To give you an idea how biting her tongue could be, when I hit adolescence and my body started changing, she told me, “I don’t know what I did in life to deserve a mother, a best friend, a husband and a daughter who are all fat.”My father was a different variety of excrement. He just shit on everyone he knew and claimed to love. When he wasn’t confessing his mortal marital sins to my mother on a near-weekly basis, he was beating the crap out of us. He used whatever was handy: a book, a shoe, a belt, his fist, his legs to kick us, and when he was really frustrated, he’d throw things at us.My mother used to say, “Parents give their children unspoken commands their children learn to implicitly obey.” Marco and John learned at a young age to throw weapons instead of using their words. Their weapons of choice included a skateboard, a frying pan, scissors, lamps, glass bottles and a hammer. It amazes me they’re both still alive.Shorter and less muscular than Marco, John took up martial arts when he was 11. By the time he was 15, John was a black belt in three styles of Kung Fu. He was still shorter than Marco, but now his weapons became sharper, his hands and arms stronger, and he could inflict serious, life-altering damage. I lost count of how often I had to call the police because I wasn’t about to get in the middle of a fight between two rabid dogs.I used to pray for my parents and brothers to get arrested, so I could raise myself.Aleutian Islands: Same Name, Not ConnectedAfter I graduated from high school at 16, I rented a furnished room in the apartment of a different neighbor. By 17, I was in therapy, where I was diagnosed with PTSD and a panic disorder. I would end up spending seven years with Barbara, working through the damage of my childhood. Together, we dismantled me so we could put me back together. I was 24 when Barbara and I decided I was ready to go out into the world without an attendant.The first few years after I left home—especially while I was still in therapy—I hardly spoke with my parents or my brothers. I honestly didn’t know what Marco was doing, but I knew from various people he was fine and living with a woman in another state. Periodically, I’d run into John on the street. On those occasions we were cordial, but there was nothing to talk about. It was like seeing someone from my childhood I had nothing in common with now. We’d promise to catch up, knowing full well neither of us would make that call.Weeks turned into months and eventually years between check-ins with my brothers. I spoke with my parents every so often because, no matter how much work I’d done on myself, I was also raised with a sense of obligation, and daughters aren’t supposed to just cut off their parents. While they were still alive, I controlled the direction of the conversations to keep them from touching on areas that could trigger me.I once told Barbara in therapy that I felt like we were the Aleutian Islands. They were people I knew but had no connection to. I didn’t hate them; I felt nothing for them. My mother used to say, “The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference.” She was right.I met my husband in 1996 and we were married in 2001 while living in Southern California. Although all of my girlfriends who had previously gotten married and who were getting married opted to keep their maiden names, I couldn’t wait to change mine. Despite being every bit as feminist as my friends, for them the decision to keep their maiden name was about maintaining their identity. For me, the act of changing my last name meant adopting a new one.As important as leaving my home the first chance I got and staying in therapy for seven years (no matter how uncomfortable things got sometimes), changing my name allowed me to reinvent myself.The beauty of having a different last name is that, unless I tell people my maiden name, nobody knows I have any association with those people. It helps that I have an amazing relationship with my husband’s family, who have been my tribe for 23 years.Today, my husband and I live in Puerto Rico on an organic farm. We have rich relationships with people both in Puerto Rico and the States. When I think about the stark contrast between my life then and now, I’m reminded of a quote by Maya Angelou: "Family isn't always blood, it's the people in your life who want you in theirs: the ones who accept you for who you are, the ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what.” Separate Lives in the Time of Covid-19My husband and I have talked with my brothers a handful of times over the last 24 years we’ve been together. My mother died in 1994 and, after my father’s death in 2002, I was named executor of my parents’ estate. I had to periodically be in touch with both brothers for signatures on this or that document required to sell our parents’ home, which we did in 2008. Between then and now, I had no desire to contact them.When the pandemic broke out, for the first time since I left home, I felt conflicted between the need to learn they’re safe and my need to maintain a drama-free life. Once I found John was alive, I felt I was halfway to feeling I wouldn’t need to expose myself.It took several weeks, but I was finally able to confirm Marco is also safe from Covid-19. I remembered a nickname he used to refer to himself when we were younger and during times he was manic. I started googling versions of the nickname and eventually came across his Twitter profile.He’s on his fourth wife, living somewhere in the Midwest. What I read were 75 tweets in rapid fire succession about everything that angers him that nobody reacted to or commented on. Based on my accelerated heart rate while reading them, I deduced he still isn’t treating his bipolar disorder. I got what I came for: I know he’s alive. Now that I know both my brothers are safe from Covid-19, and that I can continue to confirm it without reaching out to them, I no longer have to wonder and I can continue living my life.

Flattening the mental health curve is the next big coronavirus challenge

The mental health crisis triggered by COVID-19 is escalating rapidly. One example: When compared to a 2018 survey, U.S. adults are now eight times more likely to meet the criteria for serious mental distress. One-third of Americans report clinically significant symptoms of anxiety or clinical depression, according to a late May 2020 release of Census Bureau data.While all population groups are affected, this crisis is especially difficult for students, particularly those pushed off college campuses and now facing economic uncertainty; adults with children at home, struggling to juggle work and home-schooling; and front-line health care workers, risking their lives to save others.We know the virus has a deadly impact on the human body. But its impact on our mental health may be deadly too. Some recent projections suggest that deaths stemming from mental health issues could rival deaths directly due to the virus itself. The latest study from the Well Being Trust, a nonprofit foundation, estimates that COVID-19 may lead to anywhere from 27,644 to 154,037 additional U.S. deaths of despair, as mass unemployment, social isolation, depression and anxiety drive increases in suicides and drug overdoses.But there are ways to help flatten the rising mental health curve. Our experience as psychologists investigating the depression epidemic and the nature of positive emotions tells us we can. With a concerted effort, clinical psychology can meet this challenge.Reimagining mental health careOur field has accumulated long lists of evidence-based approaches to treat and prevent anxiety, depression and suicide. But these existing tools are inadequate for the task at hand. Our shining examples of successful in-person psychotherapies – such as cognitive behavioral therapy for depression, or dialectical behavioral therapy for suicidal patients – were already underserving the population before the pandemic.Now, these therapies are largely not available to patients in person, due to physical distancing mandates and continuing anxieties about virus exposure in public places. A further complication: Physical distancing interferes with support networks of friends and family. These networks ordinarily allow people to cope with major shocks. Now they are, if not completely severed, surely diminished.What will help patients now? Clinical scientists and mental health practitioners must reimagine our care. This includes action on four interconnected fronts.First, the traditional model of how and where a person receives mental health care must change. Clinicians and policymakers must deliver evidence-based care that clients can access remotely. Traditional “in-person” approaches – like individual or group face-to-face sessions with a mental health professional – will never be able to meet the current need.Telehealth therapy sessions can fill a small part of the remaining gap. Forms of nontraditional mental health care delivery must fill the rest. These alternatives do not require reinvention of the wheel; in fact, these resources are already readily accessible. Among available options: web-based courses on the science of happiness, open-source web-based tools and podcasts. There are also self-paced, web-based interventions – mindfulness-based cognitive therapy is one – which are accessible for free or at reduced rates.Democratizing mental healthSecond, mental health care must be democratized. That means abandoning the notion that the only path to treatment is through a therapist or psychiatrist who dispenses wisdom or medications. Instead, we need other kinds of collaborative and community-based partnerships.For example, given the known benefits of social support as a buffer against mental distress, we should enhance peer-delivered or peer-supported interventions – like peer-led mental health support groups, where information is communicated between people of similar social status or with common mental health problems. Peer programs have great flexibility; after orientation and training, peer leaders are capable of helping individual clients or groups, in person, online or via the phone. Initial data shows these approaches can successfully treat severe mental illness and depression. But they are not yet widely used.Taking a proactive approachThird, clinical scientists must promote mental health at the population level, with initiatives that try to benefit everyone rather than focusing exclusively on those who seek treatment. Some of these promotion strategies already have clear-cut scientific support. In fact, the best-supported population interventions, such as exercise, sleep hygiene and spending time outdoors, lend themselves perfectly to the needs of the moment: stress-relieving, mental illness-blocking and cost-free.Finally, we must track mental health on the population level, just as intensely as COVID-19 is tracked and modeled. We must collect much more mental health outcome data than we do now. This data should include evaluations from mental health professionals as well as reports from everyday citizens who share their daily experiences in real time via remote-based survey platforms.Monitoring population-level mental health requires a team effort. Data must be collected, then analyzed; findings must be shared across disciplines – psychiatry, psychology, epidemiology, sociology and public health, to name a few. Sustained funding from key institutions, like the NIH, are essential. To those who say this is too tall an order, we ask, “What’s the alternative?” Before flattening the mental health curve, the curve must be visible.COVID-19 has revealed the inadequacies of the old mental health order. A vaccine will not solve these problems. Changes to mental health paradigms are needed now. In fact, the revolution is overdue. [You need to understand the coronavirus pandemic, and we can help.Read The Conversation’s newsletter.]This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Opioid Addiction and COVID-19

The global coronavirus pandemic has likely just begun. People across the globe need to prepare for the fact that our lives will probably be changed for the foreseeable future. With that in mind, people struggling with opioid use disorder mustn't delay their treatment while the pandemic is ongoing.Waismann Method® Opioid Treatment Specialists have adapted their protocols to offer safe, effective opioid detox during the pandemic. Here is what you should know about medically assisted detoxification, and how the Waismann Method® Opioid Treatment Specialists are keeping patients safe during this time.What is Rapid Detox or Medically Assisted Opioid Detoxification?For over 21 years, Waismann Method® has offered medically assisted solutions to treat withdrawal symptoms of opioid and alcohol dependency. Medical treatments are provided within a private room of a full-service accredited hospital.The goal of the treatment is to provide patients suffering from opioid use disorder a safe, effective, and much more pleasant way to successfully get through withdrawal. In other words, instead of forcing people to endure unnecessary pain and health risks related to an opioid detox, withdrawal symptoms are medically managed, and vitals adequately controlled."We offer patients a humane and effective solution to a physiological condition that has the potential to harm all aspects of someone's life," says Clare Waismann, founder of the Waismann Method. "Our approach to the treatment of opioid use disorder is based on science, compassion, and results."Detox treatments are under the supervision of a quadruple board-certified medical director, Michael H. Lowenstein, M.D. Dr. Lowenstein has successfully treated thousands of patients suffering from opioid use disorder (OUD) for over two decades. He is also world-renowned as one of the most experienced rapid detox physicians in the world.Waismann Method team has worked diligently for over 21 years in providing the most advanced and successful opioid detox protocols. Rapid detox was just the beginning of a myriad of medically assisted protocols based on each patient's overall health needs."We believe patients should have the right to become opioid-free so they can be emotionally present to work with whatever emotional issues they have," Waismann says. "Often, long-term opioid maintenance drugs don't fix the real problem; instead, they just delay it."Opioid addiction is a consequence of untreated pain, either physical or emotional, and in most cases, both. Successfully treating the physical dependence allows people the stability to focus entirely on addressing their pain, and moving forward without substance abuse."This newfound freedom from drug dependence, combined with non-addictive forms of craving management, allows people to be emotionally present to adhere to whatever type of emotional support is necessary to sustain recovery," Waismann says.Getting through detox with sedation and other supportive medications is terrific but not enough. A short amount of care throughout the regulation period is crucial for patients to regain some physical and emotional strength before returning home. For that reason, Waismann Method provides patients with a few days at Domus Retreat - a safe haven for those seeking compassionate and professional assistance in this first part of recovery. Also, at Domus Retreat, treatment professionals can help clients identify underlying mental health issues, and guide them toward the resources that can support their emotional and physical health.Adjusting safety protocols in response to COVIDAs a science-based medical provider, Waismann Method pays close attention to the latest medical guidance. It has implemented new measures in order to continue to provide detox during the pandemic while keeping everyone safe.Waismann Method and Domus Retreat Enhanced Safety Precautions During Covid-19As concerns about the Coronavirus (COVID-19) consume our nation, the Waismann Method and Domus Retreat team step up to protect the health and safety of our patients and employees by adopting additional protocols.Family visits have been suspended at this time.Those seeking admission will be screened with questions concerning current health, recent travel, and interactions with others before arriving. When in the hospital, out-of-state patients or those with suspicious symptoms will be tested for COVID. Individuals who fail to meet medical criteria will be denied admission.Patients and staff are instructed to practice aggressive hand washing; avoid touching face; masks and gloves are provided and, in some areas, enforced.Maintaining Domus with 3 to 4 clients at one time.Housekeep staff are spending additional time disinfecting and cleaning all areas of Domus RetreatWe continue to monitor CDC and state health department recommendations and adapt as needed.The time for detox is now.Currently, some people are concerned about seeking substance abuse care. But the truth is that opioid use disorder is a medical condition that gets worse with time. Delaying detox and treatment can pose an irreversible risk to people.Addiction does not discriminate, and the need for treatment certainly does not wait for "a convenient time." Times of crisis lead to heightened stress and anxiety amongst every living being, and especially for that suffering from addiction. There is no better time to seek help than now. The Waismann and Domus Team is fully prepared to help patients get the help they deserve when they need it the most.

Police officers accused of brutal violence often have a history of complaints by citizens

As protests against police violence and racism continue in cities throughout the U.S., the public is learning that several of the officers involved in the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis and Breonna Taylor in Louisville share a history of complaints by citizens of brutality or misconduct.Decades of research on police shootings and brutality reveal that officers with a history of shooting civilians, for example, are much more likely to do so in the future compared to other officers.A similar pattern holds for misconduct complaints. Officers who are the subject of previous civilian complaints – regardless of whether those complaints are for excessive force, verbal abuse or unlawful searches – pose a higher risk of engaging in serious misconduct in the future.A study published in the American Economic Journal reviewed 50,000 allegations of officer misconduct in Chicago and found that officers with extensive complaint histories were disproportionately more likely to be named subjects in civil rights lawsuits with extensive claims and large settlement payouts.In spite of this research, many law enforcement agencies not only fail to adequately investigate misconduct allegations, they rarely sustain citizen complaints. Disciplinary sanctions are few and reserved for the most egregious cases.Protesters went to the home of the Minneapolis police officer, Derek Chauvin, who is now charged with George Floyd’s death.Complaints, lawsuits – but few consequencesDerek Chauvin, the ex-officer who has been charged with third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter for killing Floyd, is no stranger to situations in which deadly force has been deployed.During a 2006 roadside stop, Chauvin was among six officers who, in just four seconds, fired 43 rounds into a truck driven by a man wanted for questioning in a domestic assault. The man, Wayne Reyes, who police said aimed a sawed-off shotgun at them, died at the scene. The police department never acknowledged which officers had fired their guns and a grand jury convened by prosecutors did not indict any of the officers.Chauvin is also the subject of at least 18 separate misconduct complaints and was involved in two additional shooting incidents. According to The Associated Press, 16 of the complaints were “closed with no discipline” and two letters of reprimand were issued for Chauvin related to the other cases.Tou Thao, one of three Minneapolis officers at the scene as Floyd pleaded for his life, is named in a 2017 civil rights lawsuit against the department. Lamar Ferguson, the plaintiff, said he was walking home with his pregnant girlfriend when Thao and another officer stopped him without cause, handcuffed him and proceeded to kick, punch and knee him with such force that his teeth shattered.The case was settled by the city for US$25,000, with the officers and the city declaring no liability, but it is not known if Thao was disciplined by the department.In Louisville, Kentucky, at least three of the officers involved in the shooting death of Breonna Taylor while serving a no-knock warrant at her home – allowing them to use a battering ram to open her door – had previously been sanctioned for violating department policies.One of the officers, Brett Hankison, is the subject of an ongoing lawsuit alleging, according to news reports, harassing suspects and planting drugs on them. He has denied the charges in a response to the lawsuit.Another officer in the Taylor case, Myles Cosgrove, was sued for excessive force in 2006 by a man whom he shot seven times in the course of a routine traffic stop. The judge dismissed the case. Cosgrove had been put on paid administrative leave as his role in the shooting was investigated by his department, and returned to the department after the investigation closed.Patterns of misconduct and abuseI am a scholar of law and the criminal justice system. In my work on wrongful conviction cases in Philadelphia, I regularly encounter patterns of police misconduct including witness intimidation, evidence tampering and coercion. It is often the same officers engaging in the same kinds of misconduct and abuse across multiple cases.The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that across the nation fewer than one in 12 complaints of police misconduct result in any kind of disciplinary action.And then there is the problem of “gypsy cops” – a derogatory ethnic slur used in law enforcement circles to refer to officers who are fired for serious misconduct from one department only to be rehired by another one.Timothy Loehmann, the Cleveland officer who shot and killed 12-year-old Tamir Rice, resigned before he was fired from his previous department after they deemed him unfit to serve. A grand jury did not indict Loehmann for the killing, but he was fired by the Cleveland Division of Police after they found he had not disclosed the reason for leaving his previous job.In the largest study of police hiring, researchers concluded that rehired officers, who make up roughly 3% of the police force, present a serious threat to communities because of their propensity to re-offend, if they had engaged in misconduct before.These officers, wrote the study’s authors, “are more likely … to be fired from their next job or to receive a complaint for a ‘moral character violation.’”The Newark modelThe Obama administration’s Task Force on 21st Century Policing recommended the creation of a national database to identify officers whose law enforcement licenses were revoked due to misconduct. The database that currently exists, the National Decertification Index, is limited, given state level variation in reporting requirements and decertification processes.Analysts agree that this is a useful step, but it does not address underlying organizational and institutional sources of violence, discrimination and misconduct.For example, in the aftermath of the police shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, the Department of Justice found that the department had a lengthy history of excessive force, unconstitutional stop and searches, racial discrimination and racial bias.The report noted that the use of force was often punitive and retaliatory and that “the overwhelming majority of force – almost 90% – is used against African Americans.”One promising solution might be the creation of independent civilian review boards that are able to conduct their own investigations and impose disciplinary measures.In Newark, New Jersey, the board can issue subpoenas, hold hearings and investigate misconduct.Research at the national level suggests that jurisdictions with citizen review boards uphold more excessive force complaints than jurisdictions that rely on internal mechanisms.But historically, the work of civilian review boards has been undercut by limitations on resources and authority. Promising models, including the one in Newark, are frequently the target of lawsuits and harassment by police unions, who say that such boards undermine the police department’s internal disciplinary procedures.In the case of civilian review board in the Newark, the board largely prevailed in the aftermath of the police union lawsuit. The court ruling restored the board’s ability to investigate police misconduct – but it made the board’s disciplinary recommendations nonbinding. [Deep knowledge, daily.Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter.]Jill McCorkel, Professor of Sociology and Criminology, Villanova UniversityThis article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Treatment Based on a Meaningful Life

The disease model of addiction says that substance use is a brain disease and that people who use substances addictively are powerless over their actions. However, not everyone believes that characterization of addiction. Treatment centers that reject the disease model take a unique approach to treating substance abuse.At Sunshine Coast Health Centre, in British Columbia, the treatment program is based on the idea that addiction is a response to a life without personal meaning, says Geoff Thompson, PhD., program director at Sunshine Coast. That idea has a long history; it was first voiced by Viktor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning, published in 1946.“Frankl said that if we really want to understand addiction, we have to recognize that it is far more than merely the drugs’ effects on the brain,” Thompson said. “Addiction operates at the level of a fundamental motivation to make sense of ourselves and pursue a meaningful life.”Accepting that premise changes the way that Sunshine Coast Health Centre delivers care.At the forefront, building a life In 12-step addiction treatment, clients are encouraged to focus on abstinence. Then, after they’ve achieved sobriety, they explore creating a meaningful life. At Sunshine Coast, that model is turned around.“If addiction is a problem of meaning, then the goal of treatment is to help clients begin the process of living a personally meaningful life,” Thompson said.A meaningful life has three components, Thompson said: self-awareness, positive relationships, and intrinsic motivations. When a client comes to Sunshine Coast, they begin therapy to help them create these components.“We designed a program to help clients develop an accurate understanding of who they are, develop authentic relationships, and pursue goals based on what is truly important to them,” Thompson said. “The focus is always on helping them get a life.”Principles of addiction therapyAt Sunshine Coast Health Centre, therapy follows specific principles to help build a meaningful life. Here’s how Thompson describes the principles:We don’t treat an addict or an addiction. We treat a complicated, unique human being, who suffers from addiction.Each client is the author of his or her life, regardless of biological or environmental limitations. We don’t tell clients what to do, think, feel, or say; that’s the client’s responsibility.Each client is a whole human being. People don’t stop being human simply because they’ve succumbed to a drug.Meaning is not the absence of suffering. In fact, research indicates that questions of meaning arise precisely because of suffering. Frankl said that the key to a meaningful life wasn’t to eliminate suffering, but to rise above it by pursuing goals that helped others, Thompson said.Meaning is not the same as happiness. Research indicates that happiness has more to do with feeling comfortable and getting desires met. Meaning is more other-centered and associated with attaching one’s life to something greater than the self.These principles extend to the way that the staff at Sunshine Coast treats clients.“Because we treat all clients as human beings (not as addicts), everyone who works at SCHC follows the three basic principles of therapy: empathy, unconditional positive regard, and genuineness,” Thompson said. “This creates an environment where clients can feel free to be themselves, a requirement for good therapy.”Expecting the treatment to workToo often, when treatment for addiction doesn’t work, people blame the client. At Sunshine Coast, that is different.“Rather than blaming clients, we examine the therapy itself. What were we doing that we could not get through to this client?” Thompson said. “We are constantly refining the program, based on the latest research and feedback from clients and families. Ultimately, we use meaning therapy as a way to improve success rates in treatment, which are currently less than inspiring.”The focus of that therapy is clear throughout treatment.“Our goal is not to help clients stay away from drugs, it’s to help clients ‘get a life,’” Thompson said. “If addiction is a response to a life that lacks personal meaning, however, then we need to front-load getting a life. Clients need a reason to do all this work, which is why mainstream treatments do not have inspiring outcome studies.”Sunshine Coast Health Centre is a non-12-step drug and alcohol rehabilitation center in British Columbia. Learn more here.

Don't Relapse Now

Reader, I will make a deal with you. I will talk to you like an adult and say some uncomfortable things. I won’t be your sponsor and I won’t throw the Big Book at your face. But in exchange, you need to promise me you’ll read this to the end. No skips, no tag outs, no skimmy skims. Okay? Okay, great.I understand the urge to relapse right now. I’m feeling it too. A lot of us have severely diminished responsibilities – my work has nearly dried up. I hate the Zoom meetings, which feel like impersonal shadow plays where I have to stare at my new fat face. All our other distractions that can’t be done from the couch have been cancelled. My normie friends are mixing up quarantinis before the 5 o’clock news starts. Most importantly, we are all being treated to a daily blast of death, inequity, and press conferences where a poorly tanned moron tells us to shoot up with bleach. It is so much. It is a daily mental weight that is difficult to bear even on the best days.If you are saying to yourself, maybe I can’t hold out on this, maybe I am going to break, that is a sane response. It is, in some ways, a rational response. Time has paused, life has paused, why can’t sobriety pause too? The other day I found myself telling a friend that I won’t be jobless, locked down, without the beach (my favorite distraction), and sober. In full Scarlett O’Hara mode, I declared, “Sorry, but I won’t do it!” It felt good to say, the way forbidden things sometimes do. Total, unapologetic narcissism has its pleasures.I could probably get away with it, too. I could probably go on a few-days bender and maybe my boyfriend would figure it out (he is sharp!), but no one else would. I could even keep my day count! Why not?!? This is the sort of self-dealing I’ve been doing. I am so good at it. I am the Clarence Darrow of fucking my own shit up.But it is wrong. I know it’s wrong. If you are having similar thoughts, you probably know they are wrong too. Even now, with life halted and pain and injustice ascendant, there are reasons both practical and metaphysical that it is crucial for you and me to keep our sober time. Even if every word we ever heard at an AA meeting was false, even if the Big Book itself is a decades-long scam to sell us on religion.Practically, you are going to regret it. You know you are! Sorry, but you do. You are going to be annoyed, at the very least, that you need to restart your day count, which yes, you eventually will be forced to do because you won’t be able to lie to your support network for that long. Whatever bender you have in mind is going to come to an end, in what will feel like the blink of an eye, and all you’ll have left is regret and likely, a terrible headache or worse. You also, of course, might take it too far and die.If things get really bad, as they very well may, people are going to know what you did and that is going to suck for you. Your family and friends are already extremely stressed out right now (just like you!) – the last thing they need is to hear that you relapsed, in your tiny apartment in some faraway city, and no one can travel to you to make sure you get it together. Your mom is going to cry.On that note, if you need hospital care because you overdose or can’t stop, great, you are taxing an already overtaxed healthcare system and exposing yourself to COVID19 at the same time. From a million different standpoints, any decision to relapse right now is selfish, even if it feels like the only person being punished is you.Okay, who cares, right? I hear that. When I was first trying to get sober and in a relapse cycle, other people’s problems were some theoretical concern that was a not-close second to my immediate ego gratification. I did not give a shit, and honestly I didn’t care much if I died, either. What worked for me, though, was spite – not giving my enemies the pleasure of seeing me fall.Spite could be helpful right now. Picture Donald Trump, in all his 300 pounds of dense mass, standing over you as you take that first drink. “I was always right,” he says without laughing, as he never laughs, “You’re weak. Libs like you, weak, lazy.” Do you want Donald Trump to think he’s better than you? How about the maskless crowds begging states to let them kill themselves, and each other? Should these yahoos and sociopaths be allowed to feel morally superior to you? Or picture a little closer to home. Do you want your douchebag ex to hear that you fucked up again? No you do not.The time we’ve all spent cooped up indoors losing our gourds has been an achievement which can be measured in days and lives saved. We’ve been doing this for well over thirty days now. In New York and elsewhere, we’ve flattened the curve. Your sobriety is the same. It’s not some fungible commodity that can be lent out and borrowed back at will – it has a character in itself composed in part of a temporal element. Your sobriety after you relapse is not the same as your sobriety before. When you give it up, you give up effort, sacrifice, things you can never get back. That might not feel important now, but it will feel devastating later.Look, I am not Mr. Lockdown. I eat loaves of bread as a snack. I stay up most nights until 5 AM and I sleep till 11. I bleached my hair. I play Nintendo Switch and try to get one or two productive hours into a day. My sheets smell like farts. All of this is fine! You do what it takes to make it to the next day. The people doing pilates every morning, learning a second language, making OnlyFans, whatever – they are fine, too. And it’s even fine to hate them!“One day at a time” is a relentless cliché in sobriety circles. But right now, it feels appropriate, as all of the stupid sayings eventually do. The world is a miserable place, maybe always, definitely right now. Don’t add to the misery by giving in to the demons you fought so hard to keep at bay. Be strong, stay home, save lives, stay sober. Good luck.

Caring for Your Mental Health During COVID-19

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and this year, more than ever, it’s important to talk openly about mental health and take care of your mental well-being. The coronavirus pandemic has made the mental health crisis in America even worse. One telling piece of data: anxiety medication prescriptions rose 34% between Feb. 16 and March 15. It’s likely they’ve continued to go up since then. After all, many of us are living through a trauma experience.The pandemic and the economic consequences are out of our control, but there are things that everyone can do to help control the mental health effects of the pandemic. This is especially important for people who are in recovery. When you’re stressed or anxious, your risk for relapse increases, so it’s critical that you stay ahead of your mental health. Here’s how:Limit your informationIt can be tempting to try to constantly keep up with the latest breaking news about the pandemic. But since good news is limited and there is bad news aplenty, checking the headlines constantly is likely to put you into a constant heightened state of stress and anxiety.So, set boundaries for yourself. Rather than keeping your favorite news site open in your browser, check the news only three times a day: morning, noon, and evening. It’s best to skip the pre-bedtime check so that you don’t have stressful thoughts in your head as you’re drifting off to sleep. If this is still too much, consider scaling back more. If you’re worried about missing something, ask a partner or friend to let you know if anything serious happens that you should be aware of.Be mindful, however you canWe talk a lot about mindfulness in the recovery community, and it may be more important now than ever. It’s easy to spiral, thinking about everything that is out of your control right now. But, that’s fruitless. It doesn’t solve the problem, it just leaves you feeling stressed out.Instead, pick an activity where you can be fully immersed in the here and now. Meditation and yoga are great options, but they don’t work for everyone. It’s okay if your mindfulness practice is as simple as a walk in the neighborhood, cooking a beautiful meal, or knitting a scarf.A good exercise to help you connect with the present moment is to check in with each of your senses. What is something you see? Smell? Hear? Taste? Feel? Naming the sensation you’re experiencing can help ground you.Get movingRight now, gyms and even many beaches are closed, so it can be tempting to stay at home and not exercise. But, exercise is great not just for your body, but for your mind as well. The endorphins that your body releases when you exercise can help control and limit cortisol (the stress hormone).It’s okay to take it easy. Go for a walk, or do a ten-minute online workout at home. The key is to incorporate a bit of movement into each day. If you’re having trouble motivating yourself, ask a friend to be your virtual exercise buddy. You can do your own home workouts and then check in with each other, or talk to each other on the phone while you’re on a walk.Seek help when you need itMany Americans are avoiding emergency or routine care because of the pandemic. But if you are feeling overwhelmed by your anxiety or depression, it’s critical that you reach out for professional medical help. Many services can be delivered via telemedicine right now, and you can even get a prescription delivered to your home.Of course, if you’re experiencing a mental health emergency, go to the ER as soon as possible. Hospitals have protocols in place to reduce the risk of contracting COVID-19 if you need to seek other medical care.Getting through this pandemic is stressful for everyone. People in recovery might feel like they’re especially vulnerable, but the truth is that you’re experienced. You’ve already been through times that felt overwhelming, and persevered. You’ll do the same this time.Learn more about Oceanside Malibu at http://oceansidemalibu.com/. Reach Oceanside Malibu by phone at (866) 738-6550. Find Oceanside Malibu on Facebook.